The Center for Reality Therapy

New workshop dates added

We have just added our workshop dates taking us upto July 2013

You cam find out full details by visiting our Intensive Workshop section of the website or by clinking on the link below.

Intensive Workshop Page shortcut

Posted by Bob and Sandie Wubbolding

By now millions of people around the world have seen the on court fight between the players from both teams at the end of the Xavier University – University of Cincinnati basketball game December 10, 2011. (A friend in Thailand saw the video clip on television.) This is a game played between two universities that are approximately 3 miles apart and has been an intense but most enjoyable rivalry for decades called the "Crosstown Shootout". Sandie and I were present at the game and witnessed this repugnant disgusting display of the completely inappropriate attempt to satisfy the human need for power. It was not an attempt to merely achieve which is the more noble component of the power need. It was a violent attempt at power over others.

Of course this is a highly intellectual analysis of what happens when the emotional component of behavior overtakes the rational component.

It clearly demonstrates that merely “talking things over” is inadequate and constitutes a feeble attempt to resolve differences. Severe consequences are necessary, even punishment. Players involved received suspensions, a process very painful to them but very educational for them.

I wrote the letter below to the Cincinnati Enquirer newspaper which they published on December 12. It clearly shows how choice theory/reality therapy can be used on a community wide and systemic basis. There needs to be some public and symbolic demonstration indicating reconciliation between the offending parties.

My understanding is that there are plans for the two teams to engage in community service together as a joint effort. The team members have already reconciled on a personal basis. Wouldn’t it be exciting if the media gave equal attention to this peace making process!

Letter to the Editor:
Punishment: Necessary but Insufficient
The disgraceful behavior demonstrated at the Cintas Center by both Xavier and University of Cincinnati players has resulted in calls for sanctions and punishment. And while such behavior deserves consequences, force and coercion are not enough.
There should be a public reconciliation ceremony. The teams, university presidents, coaches and athletic directors should appear together in a neutral place, perhaps Fountain Square, and demonstrate their resolve to relinquish their resentment and reinstate their dignity. A neutral person could facilitate this, such as the mayor and community leaders, or several religious leaders. In this way they will show the community, the sports world, and the nation that our universities stand for good sportsmanship and ethical conduct. Pious statements about regret and shame without positive action will be shallow and insufficient.

Robert E. Wubbolding, EdD
Professor, Xavier University (Retired)
Doctoral graduate, University of Cincinnati

Posted by Bob and Sandie Wubbolding

One of the controversial tenets of choice theory and reality therapy is that human beings choose their behavior. This statement is very general and needs to be unpacked so that it can be clearly understood and implemented.

It would take a small book or a long chapter to adequately present the nuances involved in this important principle. For now I would like to state that behavior is composed of actions, cognition, feelings, and physiology. This all-inclusive concept of behavior is slightly different than the definition of behavior often learned by students in the helping professions.

I suggest that we think of the actions as chosen at least some of the time. There are actions that we don’t really choose, such as nervous habits. Some actions become almost automatic such as walking. Your responses are invited.

Posted by Bob and Sandie Wubbolding

Greetings from the USA! This weekend we celebrate our independence as a nation. But even more importantly we can all celebrate that we are all endowed by the Creator with the ability to make choices.

Reality therapy based on choice theory is a very efficient tool for helping others make responsible choices. The cornerstone of it has always been the formulation of self-evaluations. Through the process of RT we examine the realistic attainability of our wants and the effectiveness and appropriateness of our actions. These are 2 of many types of self-evaluation.

All are invited to make comments on this blog about freedom and independence, i.e., an innate need and source of motivation.

Posted by Bob and Sandie Wubbolding

Below are a few thoughts selected at random as well as some quotations:

1. If you read the cartoon Dennis the Menace you will notice occasionally a few reality therapy thoughts. In one of the cartoons he is selling lemonade and he tells a customer, “It’s a dime for a glass. But if it has a fly in it, it’s 15 cents.” This is an excellent example of reframing: when a situation is negative, look for something positive.

2. Lou Holtz said, “The guy that says the football takes crazy bounces is the guy who dropped the ball.” From the CT point of view, it’s easy to blame everybody else for our problems.

3. Karen Horney once remarked, “Nothing ruins a good depression like a smile.” I invite your CT/RT interpretation.

4. Dick Vitale described five qualities of a winner: enthusiasm, desire, determination, dedication and connecting with people.” It looks like belonging is a primary motivator and good relationships are the hallmark of success and happiness.

Posted by Bob and Sandie Wubbolding

Greetings from the reality therapy blog. My goal is to post an idea every two weeks or even more often. There will be times when the comments are controversial. I'm hoping this will stimulate discussion. My first point for discussion is the following:

One of the principles underlying reality therapy is that we choose our behavior especially our actions. Therefore, we are responsible for them and there are consequences to these actions. We live in a world where many people would like to attribute responsibility to either their past history or to forces outside themselves. Even within the professions there is a principle that states that we should not emphasize individual responsibility. But rather many people feel and are taught to believe that responsibility is more community-centered and corporate-centered. Therefore, when they choose anti-social behavior they are less responsible for it because of their personal or social history. On the other hand reality therapy in no way blames any individual but empowers them to make better choices. Empathic, skilled reality therapists support their clients by focusing on quality world Wants self-Evaluated as attainable and helpful, built on the clients' strong commitment to work hard and make effective Plans. All of this empowers them to journey forward on the road to happiness and away from the ineffective path to misery. Reality therapy provides both client and therapist a method to review their progress and communicate hope for a better life.

Posted by Bob and Sandie Wubbolding

Greetings! This blog focuses on reality therapy and its many applications some of which are controversial, all of which are practical and useful.

You will hear about how to use reality therapy in your life. You will also be able to read more detailed articles that are useful to students studying reality therapy.

At another time I will summarize how reality therapy came about. You will also hear about training opportunities sponsored by the Center for Reality Therapy that I conduct. Please note that I have never had to cancel one of these training sessions due to lack of attendance since initiating the Center in 1979.

I also conduct 1-day sessions sponsored by various groups around the USA and around the world. These will be listed in a few days.

Posted by Bob and Sandie Wubbolding

We have just updated our website with the workshop details for 2011.

Intensive Weeks:

February 26 - 28 - Holiday Inn, Cincinnati
July 23 - 25 - Holiday Inn, Cincinnati

TO REGISTER:

Go to our web site and send your deposit through PayPal. You will receive confrmation from the Center for Reality Therapy as soon as we receive these materials.

Please check out our workshop pages for full details, or contact us direct.

Posted by Bob and Sandie Wubbolding

CHOICE THEORY IN THE 21ST CENTURY

The WGI Midwest is having a conference in Chicago July 7 - 9, 2011. We're trying to make it a comprehensive conference and invite people from all over around the world.

Dave Betz will facilitate the opening session with an interactive drumming entitled, "The Rhythm of Choice Theory". Bob (Wubbolding) will be the Friday keynote speaker.

The conference location will be the Embassy Suites in Schaumburg, IL -just outside of Chicago.

Certification Week/Intensive Workshops & Faculty Program

Certification Week and Faculty programs will take place July 3 - 6 and Basic and Advanced training will be offered on July 4 - 6th.

More details can be obtained from Judy Comstock (judycomstock@midco.net)

Posted by Bob and Sandie Wubbolding